The President has taken his love of video games to far

Dam this is the best fun. The joystick is slippery in my grip and I'm out of potato chips and cola but this is the best run yet. I've just dodged the amateurs who were guarding the borders and I'm about to move up a level by taking on the pilots. They're fast and the visuals are great as I pump 'Welcome to the Danger Zone' through the speakers and give a Yea Hah! as I get a confirmed kill. Being the President is great. You gotta hand to that shrink of mine for saying I needed a hobby. Chess was ok but not trilling enough and shooting ducks was a hoot for a while unitl the incident with the Vice President but when it comes to sheer out blissfulness it's gotta be flying military drones over conflict areas. i remember the first time I saw one of these bad boys. The top brass were taking me around showing me were all those billions of tax dollars were allegedly going. When I was shown this bad boy. Just seeing the joystick again made me nostalgice for the days of my youth. Sure i tried the new ones and they were fun but role playing has never being my thing. And I gave it a good shot. Even got the whole cabinet in to play a game together online. But I could never get this out of my head. Sure there was some weird looks when I asked for a military drone for myself to play with but that soon ended. As soon as I stoppped mumbling to myself and locking myself in my room sobbing for days on end they saw the benefit of my little hobby. And I'm good too. I don't know how many houses and factories I've blown but I'm up there in the top five on the board. And it's an amazing sensation. Great graphics, skilled competitors against you in the air and watching the little fuckers run when they see you coming is a big turn-on. There's nothing like striding down the corridor like a boss high-fiving secret servvice guys after blowing up a hospital.


The bass from the speakers is drowning out the banging on the door as I scorch past another fighter jet and move in low throughout the terrain. I flip off a startled farmer on the screen as I scream overhead going Mach 4 towards the Capital City. My phone is ringing the whole time which is great. I got that baby set for hardcore metal so as the noise screams so do I.  I'm gain altitude as people look and point at their impending doom. Time to level up Motherfuckers.

The buttons start blinking on and off as I'm detected on Radar. Between the lights and the music it's my own personal Disco of Doom all set to the pleading of the staff outside. A moment of serenity hits as I begin my final desent. i forward for some potato chips and arm the nuke while I'm leaning forward. I'm down to just one life and I'm on the final level. No resets available.

I aim for nowhere in particular don't need to. Ragornak has come and I'll see myself out please. Two fingers to the world and fuck humanity. It's time to start a new game and let some other player have a chance on the board we weren't a particularly fun game to play and I for one am getting tired of playing. My scream goes black as the bomb hits. The chain reaction should start in to two more minutes. And then it's how do you like your humanity? Burned or broiled?

Game over Man.